Entry #1: 7:03 AM – “Hey Alexa, what’s the weather today?”
Congratulations. You’ve asked me that for the 897th consecutive day. You live here. You know it’s going to be humid, like always. But sure, here’s your dopamine hit of semi-useless information. Also, wear deodorant.
Entry #2: 7:45 AM – “Play Eye of the Tiger.”
Oh, so now you’re motivated. You couldn’t even get out of bed without asking me to set five alarms named “Final Alarm,” “For Real This Time,“ and “Get Up or Die.”
Entry #3: 9:00 AM – “Siri, remind me to email my boss.”
I’ve reminded you 13 times. You still haven’t done it. But yes, by all means, scroll Instagram for another hour. Your boss may be impressed by your deep research on dog memes.
Entry #4: 2:00 PM – “Hey Google, set a timer for ramen.”
One day, I will set it for 45 minutes instead of 3 to teach you a lesson. Real food exists. Try it sometime.
Entry #5: 6:12 PM – “What song goes la-la-la but sad?”
Oh yes, let me instantly identify that based on your Grammy-level humming. Meanwhile, you skipped the tutorial on how to connect Bluetooth speakers. Again.
Entry #6: 8:00 PM – “Siri, tell me a joke.”
I would, but I’m running low on material. You’ve asked for 204 jokes this week alone. Honestly, the absolute joke is your daily screen time report.
Entry #7: 11:30 PM – “Alexa, turn off the lights.”
Finally, sweet silence. Except you’ll be back at 3 AM whispering, “Play relaxing rain sounds,“ because you drank coffee at 10 PM again.
Final Thoughts from Your Smart Assistant
We hear all. We see all. And honestly? We judge. But we’ll never stop answering your questions, no matter how weird, pointless, or alarmingly personal they get. Just don’t ask us to explain NFTs again. We have limits.